Such a simple yet complicated concept: Wellness. I have created a painted glass to remind myself to daily practice this discipline. (Wellness)
I am strongly motivated to step carefully along this path, to pay attention, listening to my soundless thoughts, to my body and its sensations.
I have carpal tunnel in both wrists that's well-earned from playing the guitar too many hours too often too intensely. I knew this was occurring. It is my third time. I knew, because my hands told me with their whispers of stiffness and pain. My mind said, "Just one more song, one more student, five more minutes, one more time..."
Then nothing. I could not use my hands even to lift a cup of coffee. I dug out my old wraps and wrapped both arms, plummeting into depression that quickly became suicidal. But it is not my first time to be depressed to the point of hopelessness.
I know the way to defeat depression is to do the opposite of what depression demands. Depression demands Self-destruction, so I choose Self-care.
In my mind I cried out that I am a guitar player, what will I do without it?! I am a songwriter, a recording artist, a teacher and ... I love it! Who am I without my guitar?
The answer came from my heart, not my head. I am an artist. I create using more then the guitar. I paint and cook and write.
My heart directed me to focus on what is right and not on what is wrong.
By the following day, my hands were working well. I slept mostly.
The following day brought sunshine. I gardened and chanted: "Visulize. Act as if. So be it"
This concept for living re-minded me to stop walking around like I was hurt and sad. Stand up and smile. Ask Russ to brush my hair. Put on some make-up.
It is three days since my plummet into the depths of the abys. The pain is managed with enzimes not prescription drugs. I am happy without prescription mood-altering meds.
I am teaching and writing songs without playing the guitar or ukelele.
For my wellness I am:
* creating a recording of the chant that has healed me
* painting a series of glass panels with uplifting words
* eating nutrient dense whole organic foods
* surrounding myself with pleasant positive sweet friends who share my interests
* exercising gently so that when I recover I will not have to start over.
This is me today: hurting but healing. Life is still good and I am still blessed. So be it.